‘Love hurts’, you must have heard of it and this is true for physical love too! Sex can hurt specially after menopause! The rate of pain before, during and after sex in women after menopause is almost 50%.
Every woman goes through this tough phase of menopause where on one hand she is getting rid of monthly cycle of periods and pain but on the other she bears the transformation in her body! Shifting levels of hormone especially oestrogen makes vagina fragile and thin.
The lining of vaginal walls become thin from thick and has fewer folds which makes it difficult to stretch during intercourse. Thus the resulting discomfort can be too severe that women avoid indulging into any sexual activity which decreases her inclination and activeness towards sex.
This post is to address all your questions related to sex after menopause and what steps can you take to improvise your sex experience after menopause.
Does menopause decreases sex drive?
Different women have different stories as each woman’s experience of menopause is unique and not all women experience the same symptoms with similar level of severity. There is no doubt in the fact that due to menopause, woman’s body loses oestrogen and testosterone which leads to changes in woman’s body and sexual drive.
Due to decrease in levels of these hormones, women are less aroused because of sex and are less sensitive to touching and stroking. Hence they feel little or no sex drive after menopause.
Although, there are studies which have proven that some women have improved their sex drive after menopause as they feel free at heart and mind and have no fear of pregnancy and also have few child-rearing responsibilities which increases inclination towards sex and they enjoy intimacy with partners. Also since the sex is painful after menopause it leads to decrease in sex excitement in few women.
Can it bleed also after sex menopause?
Yes it can! Although you have gotten rid from your periods but still due to sex the bladder may open up which may cause bleeding. Friction during sexual intercourse, inadequate lubrication, and inflammation of cervix and genital sores from some sexually transmitted diseases can be some of the causes of vaginal bleeding after menopause sex.
If post menopause, this bleeding is happening then it is matter to worry about and should be consulted with your doctor at the earliest.
It is possible that this might be occurring because of vaginal dryness and friction but it can also be due to some other abnormal reasons and thus should be consulted. Thus, fragile and dry walls of vagina tear and start bleeding as it becomes susceptible to injury but even if it’s just spotting you should discuss for a professional advice.
Why is sex painful after menopause?
1. Hormonal changes: As women approach and pass menopause, oestrogen levels in her body starts to fall. Oestrogen helps in providing adequate moisture to vaginal walls and help in keeping them lubricated. Due to this vaginal tissues become thin and dry which makes intercourse and penetration uncomfortable.
Due to this vaginal tightness, many women feel severe pain in their vagina which can also lead to tearing of vaginal tissues. Thinning of vaginal walls and dryness is responsible for one disease known as dyspareunia which is a medical term explaining why sex becomes painful after menopause. This dryness causes friction and thus makes it painful.
2. Psychological effect: Sex is painful after menopause because mentally you fear and worry about the pain. Fear contracts the muscles and also increases dryness which leads to painful sex. Although fear can make sex painful at any time of life but since it naturally happens after menopause, it creates an additional layer of fear.
Trouble in sleeping and mood swings post menopause makes you emotionally fragile. Sex is one means to uplift you from that situation but if instead of accepting it as a healing aid, you would treat it as an additional task then it may interfere with sexual pleasure.
Should you indulge in Tight Sex after menopause?
Not every woman has a tight vagina! Young women still do but as you grow old in age your skin becomes hanging and loses and don’t stay tight any long! Tight vagina intensifies the sensation you feel and gives you an explosive sex pleasure. It’s like making penetration in the tight walls which increases the pleasure and also the closeness.
This is the reason that young couple enjoy sex more than anybody else as the tightness, energy and excitement makes it stimulating. But after women reaches menopause, this tight sex can be painful. It is because the vaginal walls becomes thin and fragile as their protective layer decreases manifolds due to which the vagina becomes lose!
Also if the woman has undergone child birth during her young age then the stretch marks also contributes in loosening of skin. Therefore tight sex after menopause can be utterly painful beyond few inches.
At this age, you are indulging in sex because you know that if you don’t use your sexuality now, you will lose it for sure! So sex at this stage is less about wildness and tightness but more about smoothness and love so that you can sail through this tough phase of life! So if tight sex has been a painful experience then don’t do it! There is no urge of it, you can try exploring different moves and make it pleasurable beyond existing limits!
Sex after menopause tips
Boosting your sexual pleasure after menopause may require an additional effort but it is worth it. With care and these tips your sex life can move from ouch back to mmmm! Here are some tips to boost your sexual pleasure and increase sex drive after menopause.
- Glide and Slide: Lubricating before and after sex helps in easing pain as it heals the dryness. Just make sure you are using the lubricant which is soft on skin and is silicon and water based. This will help in reducing the stretching and friction which generally happens due to dryness. You can also opt to moisturize your vagina in the daily routine. It will ease the dryness over the long period of time as the skin will start to retain moisture.
- Wash with care: It is not recommended to use scented sprays and perfumes. Also you should avoid using soaps, shower gels, bubble bath and bath oils too in the vaginal area as they can cause dryness. Wearing cotton undies and washing them with mild soap is needful to keep your vaginal clean and dry. Also, wash your vagina with care with special vagina cleansers in warm or lukewarm water.
- Have more sex: use it or lose it becomes true when it comes to health of your sex organs. If you have sex regularly then you make your body adaptive and you would feel more comfortable and less dry. If you will feel confident then you will overcome your fears and the same sex would become comfortable in that case. This also improves blood flow and makes you feel refreshing.
- Make time for foreplay: Planning for sex makes it more exciting and also gives you time to get aroused. You buy time to get prepared which makes you wetter. Don’t directly jump to the Big Act. Start with oral sex and small positions which make you feel good. Talk to your partner and try some naughty acts and gradually step into love mode.
- Be little less conventional about your sex life: Since there are changes happening to your body, you might have to adjust your behaviour to compensate for it. But try and make your sex like less conventional and you would feel increased sex drive after menopause. Since your life takes on new dimensions after menopause, cherish every second of it! You no longer have to worry about unwanted pregnancy and you have ample of time! Excite your partner with a new pair of lingerie and do things which would arouse him and you too! Go back to old days and talk to each other about your sexual fantasies and discuss acting the out!
So you have all the power to give it a fresh start. Try new moves and continue to improve your sexual desires! There is no harm in having a satisfactory sex once or twice a week as it help in preserving the shape, size and muscle tone of your vagina.
On a Concluding Note
Menopause might be tough phase of your life but not the end! As a woman you might undergo physical and as well as emotional changes but there is nothing that you and your partner can’t overcome together.
Ageing not only affects woman but also man and thus while it occurs as menopause in women; it affects blood flow through the penis and diminishes the strength and duration of erections for men! So you both should understand and respect these changes in each other’s body and make moves which please both of you! Take your time and vary your love making positions and you would enjoy everything at this stage also!